Looking for Advice

One of the reasons (but not the major one) for me joining the Peace Corps was to figure out what I want to do with the rest of my life. At that time-after graduating from college- I had many different ideas about what I wanted to do. They were good options; I just had to pick one of them. Instead, I came to Malawi- a short (2 year) deal to give me time to figure things out. Well, at this point, I haven't figured much out. If anything things have become more complicated. Allow me to explain the most recent dilemma in my life.

Traditionally, a PCV serves for two years, give or take a month. There is usually an option for extending your service, but for the majority of volunteers it ends up being two years. When I started my service, it looked as though this was doing to go smoothly with the school calendar. I started my service a few weeks before the school year opened. The plan was then that I would teach two full school years, and by the end of the second school year my own two years of service would be up- all of this happening in December. However, as I have explained in the past, the Ministry of Education radically changed the school calendar last year. The change centered around the idea of altering things so that the school year would begin in September-as they do in the Western World. Because of this, this current school year is acting as a transition period-condensing the time so that we will finish up before September.

To make a long story short, this means that the new batch of education volunteers, the one's that will fill my group's shoes (sandals), will begin their service sometime in September. This created a variety of issues that I won't go into here, but the most immediate concern was what would happen if we wished to have our sites replaced by a new volunteer. Each year, from the group of volunteers that is finishing their service, about 60% of their schools are replaced by a new PCV. Within about the same month, the old person leaves and a new volunteer arrives. However, with the changes that I have described, this smooth transition isn't going to be possible this year. When this issue was first being discussed between us PCVs in education and the Peace Corps administration, we were told that if we wanted to be replaced (my situation), we would be allowed to live with the new volunteer for a few months (roughly September to December) until we finished our service. To me, this didn't sound too bad; if wouldn't be any more difficult than having a roommate in college. Plus, it would add some excitement to my life, which is becoming increasingly monotonous. But in the past month, things have changed again.

To oversimplify the situation, I have been given two options of how I will finish my service. Option 1: I can extend my time so that I will be finished around next August. This way I will teach another full school year, and my replacement will start his/her service here about the time I am leaving. Option 2: I can end my service early, this September instead of December. If I did this, I would officially have completed my service in full-receiving all the benefits of any other RPCV (returned Peace Corps Volunteer), but I would get a reduced readjustment allowance since that accumulates monthly and is doled out at the end. Option 2 will also allow for a smooth transition, with me handing over the reigns of Chadabwa to my replacement sometime in September. Basically, these two options have come about because the people I have to answer to at the Peace Corps office don't want two volunteers teaching and living at the same school. Their reasoning is justified, but it means that I won't be able to COS (close of service) in December as I had been planning to.

Assuming I haven't bored you to death with the drama that is my life and you are still reading, let me explain some of the deeper issues here. First of all, there is the issue of pride. I signed up to do this for two years, and I have been telling everyone in my community that I will be here for two years. Basically, because I'm such a nice guy, I will feel bad if I dip out a few months early. Having a job is also important. Here I certainly don't make much money, but at least I am staying somewhat busy. If I go back to the States in the fall, I don't exactly have any big plans lined up. I love you Mom and Dad, but the idea of living as a parasite in your house for even a few months isn't very appealing. The summer before I came here I discovered that finding a real job (not delivering pizzas or assembling dirt bikes in a factory) takes a lot of time and patience. From what I hear on BBC, it doesn't sound like the job market is any better than it was when I was looking around in the summer of 2008. Another factor that tarnishes Option 2 is one of the big projects we are working on. For at least the past year, we have been methodically planning and preparing to construct a girl's hostel at my school (anyone saving 12,000$ for a rainy day in Malawi?). It is something that we have already put a lot of time and effort into, and I still feel that it is important and can be completed if it is managed well and given enough time. At the moment, we a re still searching for funding, It is unlikely under the best circumstances that we will be able to finish by September. However, I'm not against the idea of handing over the project to the volunteer that replaces me-assuming they have any interest in its completion.

Certainly, Option 1 also has its drawbacks. My main long term plan, call it Plan A, is currently to enter a graduate program in the fall of 2011. If I were to COS just before that time, I would be in a big rush to get back to the US in time to show up for school and readjust to life back at home. Plus, under Option 1, I won't be able to have face-to-face interviews (from Malawi they would be done over the phone, if at all) and see the potential schools I am planning on choosing between. Another drawback is, honestly, I'm not going to be in the mood to teach a third year. I love living here in Malawi. It's an interesting and beautiful place. I would consider staying here for multiple more years if I could find work that was interesting, but I don't think I can find that right now. I have found that I enjoy teaching, but only when I have competent students. In most of the classes that I teach, most of the students don't understand half of what I say. It has become a bit discouraging lately, and another year doing it would definitely be a bit of a grind for me. And last but not to be forgotten- my school loans. Those certainly aren't gonna pay themselves off, and I am certainly not making enough money here to put a dent into them.

With all that being vented, right now I am leaning towards Option 2. Although I enjoy being here, especially the 2.5-4 days a week we don't have school for what ever the reason or when I'm traveling somewhere amazing (and cheap) in Africa-which I would like to do more of although time is running out! I'm not gonna make a final decision soon, but I'm going to take my time to figure this out. I need to make a choice by June 10. Whatever I do decide, I will probably have regrets at times about not making the other move, but it's a decision that I must make. Post a comment or send me an email-I would like to hear what you all have to say about what you would do if you were in Bryan's stinky shoes.

"Now that I'm older, my heart is colder.
And I can't see that I'm alive..." The Arcade Fire